5.

I feel like something incredibly inspirational is going to come out of me sitting here staring at my computer screen and trying to think of something to blog about. I doubt it.

I promised myself I'd journal every day or at least every other. Since I failed at doing so on paper, I guess this will have to do.

Things are decent. I have a lot on my mind and I'm not sure what to do to stop my head from spinning in the way that it is. I think I'm letting past experiences affect my judgment, and I shouldn't be doing that, but how can I not?  I mean I learned my lessons and I learned them well. I got dirt kicked in my face and I stood up and brushed it off but I'm not sure if I'm ready to try that again with the chance that I might once again get kicked to the curb. Its just something I need to think about. I can't go my whole life afraid of what ifs. If I do that I'm going to drive myself insane.

I had my first real coaching of my song yesterday. I"m a little wary of this song because its the highest I've belted since Children of Eden, before I really learned how to sing correctly. So I went in nervous, and preparing for the worst, and everything kind of fell into place. I was also surprised because in my song I'm playing a girl who is pregnant and has just felt her baby move for the first time. I obviously have no experience with this seeing as how i have never been pregnant, but I have never felt more connected, and I actually teared up while I was singing which was something that hasn't happened in a long time, given I've been working on more comedic stuff as of late. It was just really nice to step up to the challenge and give it all I had and succeed.

I have to say goodbye to a very good friend of mine tomorrow. He's getting the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm so happy for him, but I'm also terrible at goodbyes, and he's one of the few people who constantly helps me remember why I do what I do, and he's also one of the very few people in my life that I let in. So I wish him all the best, but I will miss having him around a LOT.

This blog actually turned out to be much more substantial than I thought. So that's a good sign. Maybe I'll actually keep up with blogging, since I seem to enjoy doing it so much.

-B