4.

I just had this on my mind and I thought perhaps blogging about it would help me to make sense of it. Growing up, I never had any close girlfriends, but I always had lots of close guy friends. My teachers would get concerned that I wasn't spending enough time with girls, but I never liked being around girls because I thought they were mean. When I moved to Edwardsville, Chase and I became fast best friends. As long as I can remember all of my best friends have been guys. From Chase, to Brandon, to Jarrod. The strange thing is, I don't have a best guy friend in college. I have a lot of guys I'm good friends with, but there is no one that I know I could call at 4AM if I was worried about something and needed to talk. This is interesting to me because my two best friends at college are girls. One is my roommate, and the other was my roommate my freshman and sophomore year. I love both of them dearly, but being best friends with a girl is so different than being best friends with a guy.

I think this makes sense, because I feel like in conflict and in life I tend to think in a more "guy like" way, meaning if there's a problem I want to address it, fix it and move on. I hate dwelling on things and I hate drama, so I try to fix things as soon as they become a problem. Its just an interesting thing to think about. I sometimes miss having that solid guy friend in my life that I know I can count on to be there for me as much as the girls. I have Jarrod of course, but when your best guy friend lives 8 hours away and is busy pretty much all the time it becomes more difficult.

I always look at everything as a sign. I can't help but wonder if the fact that I don't have that "best friend" who's a male means that maybe I need to learn to depend more on the women in my life. I thought this would get me to some sort of conclusive statement, but it really hasn't. I guess what was really on my mind is that I see everything changing in ways I can't quite grasp or understand right now, which I guess is a good thing. I just have to learn to accept it for what it is.

-B